Do you feel like there’s something missing, like when you’re talking to someone? Then you notice you don’t know what that is, it just doesn’t feel right?
I remember many times when I was with my partner, and she’d tell me that I wasn’t there with her. This one time, we just had an awesome date: movies, dinner, talking about our week and she said it to me… I was thinking to myself, what do you mean? I’m the only one here on this date with you, how am I not here? I didn’t get it. I was in my head and saying to myself, “What – is she talking about? I’m sitting right here, I’m the only other person in the room. I am here right in front, hello…”
I just didn’t understand what she was talking about. I thought, how can I be sitting with her, touching her and not be there with her. I was clueless; typical of a guy, am I right? I was trapped; I was in my head trying to find a solution to this problem that my partner had told me about. I was in my head; thinking, thinking, thinking. “What am I doing wrong? How am I not here? What is she talking about? Is she crazy?” We’re the only two in the room, and I just didn’t understand.
This kept looping and looping inside my head. it just wouldn’t stop. I was looking for the answers, and I just couldn’t find one. All because I didn’t really understand what she was actually saying to me. I knew something had to change, and I didn’t know where to begin. How do I be even more present with my partner? What do I need to do, to be there with her, but more than being just physically there?
I’d watch movies and TV shows – trying to look for answers and I’d be laughing hysterically, I’d be happy, I’d have a cry, and I was really engaged while watching. These emotions would be present, they’d come in waves, and I always felt different when I was fully engaged in a movie or TV shows with my partner. She told me that I was more emotionally involved with the movies than her. That got me thinking, she was telling me that when I was expressing my emotions, I was fully engaged. I was feeling happy and laughing, and I did not notice that I was able to connect more with the TV than my partner. Then, and at other times when I’d had a tough day at the office, I came home and we weren’t connecting, at all, really. Sadly.
It became obvious that what she was saying to me, “Stop thinking in your head, and be here with me, be here in your emotions. Just be present.” Now I’m not saying to stop thinking and completely go wild, what I’m trying to say is that there are healthy and unhealthy ways of thinking.
Let’s start to break down the unhealthy ways of thinking; things you say to yourself like, “You’re not good enough,” or “They’re laughing at you,” or even, “You can’t do it.” These are the thoughts that I’m talking about. How do I get out of my head and into my emotions you maybe be asking…? Well, do you want to know, are you sure…
Awesome! Okay, so I love to laugh, I just can’t help myself. Give this a go and you’ll be on the floor laughing in tears…. “hehehehe…” Go to YouTube and search for, ‘train laughter contagious.’ Now, open the first video and enjoy it…
How was that? amazing right? That’s one of the easiest ways for me to get out of my head; to stop that thinking. Another one I love is… music, ever had that one song that comes on the radio randomly, and you just can’t help yourself, and then you start singing and dancing along? Yup, that’s right, it’s because that takes you from your head into your emotions. Those 4 minutes of pure joy and happiness…what song will you find, go on…I’ll wait for you.
Give it shot, right now, you know that song I’m talking about: the one where you don’t have a care in the world, the one that gets your feet tapping, the one that gets your hands in the air, the one that you don’t know the lyrics to, but you just make up those words and commit 110%.
It’s your concert and you’re the only one on the stage singing that song. How was that! Yaaay! hehehehe, woo hoo! Exciting right. How many other ways do you know that you can get out of your head, and just ‘be’ in the present moment? Being in your emotions, in the ‘right now.’
Being Human. Once you find your own ways to stop that thinking pattern from looping over and over, you can just be in your emotions, in your present moment…in the now…in the fun of it all…
You are totally on YouTube now aren’t you? LOL!
I will wait for you, again…