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I Was Hiding

Every day, I would look out the window as I travelled on my long journey home after work… thinking there must be something more to my life…but what is it? What is it that there is something more of – to locate, to find, to search, to create? And I knew that I was worth more than this – but how on earth do I find it? Where do I go? What do I do? Where do I find this something? Where do I find this me, that is so wanting to come out and express myself to the world? To belong… to be seen…and to be loved. Yes, to be loved.

I lived a life behind closed doors. A life where I was an imprint behind a glass window. Five fingers pressed up behind a glass window – but no one knew who I was. I had no voice. I was never able to express. I sat in groups silently; for I never wanted to say a word for fear of rejection. What would I say; to have everyone love me when I didn’t love myself? But really, I didn’t need their love. I needed the love of myself, the sureness and the character to stand up and go forward. I am going to make a change. I am going to find this something else that I know is inside… and I am going to shine it to the world, and shine unto myself, and live the life that I know that I deserve.

So I took a deep breath, dug very deep, and I just made the decision. Plainly and purposefully, I am better than this, I thought, and I am going to make a change. There is so much more to life than being an imprint behind a glass window – screaming out to use my voice.

From the very first moment that I stepped into the Emotion Academy environment, I knew that I was on the right path; to finding who I wanted to be. I could feel it run through my body like a joyful stream of calm; a wave of inner knowing. It was the fear of the unknown but it was also the certainty of knowing that I had steeped in; with both feet totally committed to myself.

Yes, and I had made the right decision, definitely, absolutely.

It had been one of the most heart wrenching journeys, and one of the most beautiful journeys too; that I will now be on… for the rest of my life – one of growth. In such a short period of time, through attending Emotion Academy, I have grown such a significant amount. It will continue to change my life forever. Thank you so very much, I truly have no words…

I am now sure within myself, to speak up in a group and voice my opinion, and even say a joke. I can dance like no one is watching; I can lead a team in my work place. All of these things came to me, and I had also made a profound decision, that I was never capable of making, before. 

I will tell you a story of who I was and where I am now, if that makes sense? A little girl…me…for she had a jaded past. She was very unsure and never knew which way to turn next; as she was so very shy and unsure of what life had to offer. She was very scared of people, and that they might hurt her if she was to speak out and say what SHE wanted to say.

So, she stayed in her dark ‘hidey hole’ where no one could see her for too long, until one day she felt this yearning that there was something more to life…she had actually felt this yearning deep inside for a number of years, but she ignored it and pushed it down. Then it started to become a persuasive force…

This then translated into more of a wanting, a yearning – that same feeling of that there was something more; that same feeling of hiding under the covers and not wanting to be seen, that same feeling of heart break that there is something more to this life… but what is it? I could feel it but I didn’t know what it was? So many train rides home… staring bleakly out the window, a face expressionless; knowing that I am something more…the feeling grew more and more loudly, now.

My path was aligned with Emotion Academy. Never have I felt so incredibly welcomed from day one. The warm smile that I was greeted with, made all the difference, and I knew that as much as this was going to be hard at times, this was going to be my journey for life. I had the support of the right people in the exact, right place.

Many incredible moments happened from that point forward. I faced my fears, helped other people face theirs too. All whilst all on a journey of discovery together. Wow, I discovered so much. Let’s be honest, I had no idea of just how capable I was! And through all the awkwardness, and facing my biggest fears, I blossomed into the person that I am today…

I am a person that can speak in front of a group and have her voice heard. Yes, I am one that can: dance like no one is watching, make the right decisions, serve my best interests…and most of all…  I can now feel emotions of; excitement, love, creativity and a sense of belonging too.

Because I got vulnerable and opened myself up to fail, on purpose. I discovered a will like nothing else… something of pure magic. Magic that I created to unlock the key of my life, and the key of faith to make it happen. Now, I never look back. Take it from me – you never want to look back, because why would you? You are on your journey know no one else needs to know; just you, on your own real journey of self-discovery; safe and never alone with your new family, at Emotion Academy.

Writing this article does almost bring me to tears, as I think of what could have been… where would I be now If I had not taken this leap of faith, and joined the Emotion Academy family? For they will be my family for life, and I will be forever grateful for all of them.

I thank them for supporting me through my decision to find a better me; to create a better me – and live the life I want to be living! I will now be the person I know I can be, and show this to the world! To you!

Shine yourself now – like the brightest light you have ever seen… and keep on shining, because you know that you are worth it. Take the leap of faith like I did, and make all of your tomorrows everything you want them to be. Make the decision in this moment, this moment – right now.

Please really know that YOU are something special too. Come and join me on a new path to life. A path for you to shine your new, beautiful, bright and brilliant light! You are a shiny star! We welcome you…